Senior year of high school my friends and I recreated this video for our final project in Spanish class. We weren’t quite sure what was going on in the video then, and to this day I’m still not very certain. In our low-budget remake, we jumped out of a cardboard box and sprayed milk all over my parents’ backyard. The neighbors, I can only imagine, were dumbfounded.

I present to you, as a service to Google and befuddled viewers, a transcription of the video, unedited:

Bonjour, Good Morning

Is now for the first time

Dalí born

with any kind of traumatism

A little blood,

symbolic blood

And milk,

again milk of today born

and some symbolic fish

of Mediterranean people

This is the blood of Gala …

…and the blood of the Divine Dalí

[scene]

Ruby 1.8.6 p399: ftp://ftp.ruby-lang.org/pub/ruby/1.8/ruby-1.8.6-p399.tar.gz (and in zip and bz2)

Ruby 1.8.7 p249: ftp://ftp.ruby-lang.org/pub/ruby/1.8/ruby-1.8.7-p249.tar.gz (and in zip and bz2)

And of course, browse the entire FTP archive for everything going back to 1.8.0.

1. Mr. Jobs was obviously off the day this made it into OS X.
2. Never did I ever expect to run into trouble calibrating laser power in the course of daily computing. I am pleasantly surprised.
3. Compressed air made this go away. Pffft.

Rufus has been helping out around the home office: providing moral support, slobbering on pant legs, and conducting some thought-leadership workshops (read: napping for hours on end). He’s a real team player.

Oh, Deborah, if I ever make it over to Benin to collect my fifteen thousand United States dollars, I’ll give you a hug.

Email in full:

Fund Beneficiary,
Welcome to ECO BANK Money Gram money transfer Cotonou Benin Plc,
Beneficiary! This is to notify you that we have concluded your payment through Money Gram.

Here is your 3payment MTCN of USD$15,000.00 united state dollars $5,000.00 each, First payment, MTCN 212-314-53 (2) 805-217-78 (3) 968-584-30 and we will give you the sender name to pick up this money immediately you send the activation remittance permit fee which is $188.00 dollars to the name below.

Receiver Name == Augustine Okolo
Address: …. Benin / City Continuo
Test Q…………What?
Ans ……………..Payment.
Amount $188.00

Kindly send the activated remittance permit fee with the given infor…and call for sender name on +22 998 377 738 Urgent,
The grace given to you, is a previledge, not a right, therefore it must not be abused. When i imagine the magnitude of your compensation funds left in our possession,it pains me to see that you are yet to get your transfered.

You should count yourself extremely luck for the fortune that has come your way today . It is one in a life time fortune and you should concentrate on finalizing this transaction rather than responding to negative thoughts.

As a friend, i will not like you to loose this chance which has come up today because not every body in this life has this great chance that has come your way including me.Act fast in remitting the fee and let us finalize this transaction which has already stayed longer than expected. I await your swift response, comply and details

Sir. M. Deborah Utecht
FORIGN OPERATION MANAGER
MONEY GRAM OFFICE BENIN REPUBLIC )

Amazon Prime is my crack.

It’s no 5D Mark II, but I’m not complaining. Let’s hope I can get some good footage of a rampaging elephant chasing after me on the savannah.

So why, then, would I do something as silly as start a writing a weblog? Mostly because I have been looking for a convenient way to post some of the things I come across, silly stories that I get tired of re-telling to friends at the bar, and pictures that don’t belong on Facebook. But I also am starting this because I want to become a better writer. I figure if I have the tools, I can bumble my way through finding my writing “voice.” Practice makes perfect, right?

I read plenty of blogs that I love, some by strangers, some by friends, and I find inspiration in them. I admire the free-ranging topics my dear friend and colleague John Tolva writes about (how you can go from SXSW to prairie fires to Legos to wine making is a feat in itself), the succinct but always amusing link lists Craig puts together, and the sheer absurdity that was Aaron’s (now defunct) candy blog. The “big” bloggers out there, like Kottke, Gruber, or Sullivan show how finding a unique voice and sticking with it pays off in the end. I can only hope that what I write will be fraction as interesting as the other stuff out there on the Internet.

Oh, I refuse to call myself a blogger, so don’t even start with me on that.